I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
The hardest that I’ve laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed ’til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.