I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.
Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.
Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.