And I also am very nervous about implants. You know, I’m just nervous about all that. So I could still do it. I could think about it. But I needed to adapt to myself.
I did become American citizen in order to vote. I lived in this country for a very long time and I finally reached the point where I thought, I’m often sticking my neck out on various issues as all human beings have a right to do.
There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I’m never going to cross to the other side.
It eats you up. It eats you up. And you have to – I had a lot of help. I had a lot of therapy. And I was able to – because it was hard, you know, to – you can’t just lay it on friends and children.
So I – the thought that I would physically be different was – it’s not a thrill, I have to tell you. It’s kind of – it brings you up short. But I was able to look at it right away.
I believe I have lots of time. I have to believe that, that it won’t come back, and that that’s why I’m in good hands. But I also do live my life by putting nothing off.
They have – they do still hit me occasionally, and it’s an overwhelming grief for what – even though my life is so good now, even including going through treatment for cancer, my life is incredible.
And yet, I suppose you mourn the loss or the death of what you thought your life was, even if you find your life is better after. You mourn the future that you thought you’d planned.
But I don’t want anybody to say have the right to say well if you bloody Brits don’t like it go home. And they have the right to say that if you haven’t become a citizen.
And so I was very grateful that I didn’t do the British stiff upper lip, but I went straight to a therapist. And she was wonderful and helpful, and I went for about two years.
I think – I think I’ve always been kind of – I used to think of myself as a piece of rubber when I was a kid because I was kind of very shy and very – very emotional about things, but I kind of would bounce back.
And I really also wanted to have the full-body scans to learn if it was anywhere else – and it wasn’t – before I told them. So I didn’t tell them, until for a week, and then I told them.
He had Parkinson’s disease for about, I’d say diagnosed for about 11 of the last years of his life. And treatment was not as good as it is now, of course. We’re still going along and he died in ’85 and he was 77.
As an actor, particularly because I’m – I would call myself a character actor. I change my look, my physical appearance and my body, my hair color, my whatever all the time for a role.
And maybe that’s being the third child, although my entire family are very resilient – very, very resilient.
I don’t want to have to say, Honey, you know, could you turn off the sports channel because I’m not a big sports fan, and I don’t love the television being on just for the sake of turning on. I’d like turning on for some thing specific.